Experts and References

Concepts Important to to Book

"Hidden Cirriculum"- Education Expert Richard Lavoie introduced me to this concept. The term "hidden cirriculum" refers to the unwritten, unspoke rules that are a part of every school community.   According to Lavoie, the system or "hidden cirriculum" in each school is unique.  Every school has it's own system of unwritten rules and these rules are more important the the written rules printed in the school handbook! 

The hidden cirriculum concept is based on a 1986 study of school cultures.  The study revealed the enormous power of unwritten rules.  The book advises parents to find out about the hidden cirriculum for your child's school, so you can help your child blend into the system and be a part of the school community.

"Social Success = Approval from Adults" - Another concept that is important to understanding and helping your child is from expert Richard Lavoie.  According to Lavoie:

“A child’s social success will be largely determined by his ability to influence those who are influential in his life.  His relationships with teachers, coaches, adult relatives and other significant grown-ups will dictate the depth and quality of his social life.”

The advice in this book is dished out with humor but the message is clear.  You can influence and help your child in the school community with your actions.  As I recommend over and over in the book---it's not about YOU.  It's about your child. 

Understand Cliques, Talking to Other Parents

Wiseman, Rosalind.  Queen Bee Moms and Kingpin Dads.  New York: Three Rivers Press, 2007.

Wiseman, Rosalind.  Queen Bees and Wannabees.  New York: Three Rivers Press, 2003.

Resources on Parenting and Life

Abrahamson, Eric and David H. Freeman.  A Perfect Mess: The Hidden Benefits of Disorder.  New York: Little Brown and Company, 2007.

De Becker, Gavin.  Protecting the Gift.  New York: Dell, 2000.

Understanding Modern Motherhood

Quindlen, Anna.  A Short Guide to a Happy Life.  New York: Random House, 2000.

Warner, Judith. Perfect Madness, Mother in the Age of Anxiety.  New York: Riverhead Trade, 2006.

Bort, Julie, Aviva Pflock, Devra Renner. Mommy Guilt: Learn to Worry Less and Focus on What Matters Most.  New York: AMACOM, 2004.